In order to receive a 9 on the AP® English Language or AP® English Literature free response question, you will need to provide a “thorough analysis and demonstrate an impressive control of language” (AP® College Board).  Bear in mind that in order to score well you will need to demonstrate good writing, but to score a perfect 9 you will need to impress the AP® English readers with your writing skills.

It is a mistake to believe that either you do or don’t possess the ability to write engagingly. Hopefully, you have paid attention to the readings in class and taken note of the writing styles of the authors.  Like these authors, you can vary the structure of your sentences. Some of the following strategies may surprise you.  But there is a vast difference between blatantly disregarding grammar rules, and wielding language for creative effect. Observe the following tips and take careful note of their application.

Choppiness

Watch out for choppiness in your writing – a series of brief sentences containing few internal pauses.  Here is an example:

Smoking is bad for one’s health.  It causes numerous diseases.  Cancer is one such disease that kills thousands of people each year.  People shouldn’t smoke.

We can understand the writer’s topic and the direction of the paper, but it would be pretty boring to read an entire essay composed of abrupt sentences.  Use punctuation to create internal pauses and use an independent clause as the core or anchor for your point (the independent clause is underlined):

Smoking is bad for one’s health.  It causes irreparable harm to organs of the body, numerous chronic diseases, and is the leading cause of cancer in the U.S.  What can we do to curtail smoking and combat its harmful effects?

By creating an independent clause as the core of the second sentence, and following it by a string of subordinate clauses, we combine two choppy sentences into a coherent and rhythmic statement. Adding words like “irreparable” and “combat” helps to provide further emphasis within a set of more complex sentences.

Take a look at how two hypothetical AP® English students respond to the same essay prompt:

Student A:

The earth keeps getting hotter.  The weather on earth is changing whether we believe it or not.  Animals are dying. Ice caps are melting.  Water levels keep rising.  We should do something about it.

Student B:

Climate change isn’t a hoax.  It is the direct effect of reliance on fossil fuels and unsustainable land management.  If, knowing this, we ignore the problem and expect it to go away, then we will be willfully negligent.  We will be guilty of causing the extinction of animals species, and, possibly, our own extinction.  Instead, we must protect our natural resources by enacting tougher environmental laws at state and local levels.

Who received a higher score?  If you answered “B”, then you are right!  Student B uses short sentences for emphasis and complex sentences to convey his or her specific points.  

Quick Review

• Reserve short sentences for emphasis.
• Use punctuation to create internal pauses.

Inverted Syntax

Inverting syntax means changing the normal syntax of a sentence for emphasis. The subject-verb order is changed below.  Keep in mind to use this approach sparingly and only for emphasis.  

Inverted Syntax examples:

Original: A group of rich donors is the most important thing for a would-be politician.

Revised:   Most important of all, for the would-be politician, is a group of rich donors.

Original:  The consideration of cost is important.

Revised:   Above all else is the consideration of cost.

Any sentence element that is switched from its normal position and placed first in the sentence gains extra attention.  Here, the adverbial clause is changed:

Original: He would never overlook the dangers related to gambling again.

Revised:  Never again would he overlook the dangers related to gambling.

Take a look at how the subject and verb, nothing and need, are in a typical position in the sentence, but the writer starts with a prepositional phrase that would normally come last in sequence:

About such an egregious crime nothing need be said.

Quick Review

• Reverse sentence elements and subject-verb word order.
• Use it sparingly and only for emphasis!

Use Parallelism for Emphasis

When a sentence contains repetition of phrasing it helps to provide emphasis.  The point is to create a grammatical pattern by repeating certain words in order to underscore key differences.  For instance, the sentence He wanted money; she wanted a good time uses the same subject-verb-object order and the same verb in both phrases.  This helps create contrast.

You can see this pattern in a famous aphorism:

Give a man a fish and he can eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he eats for a lifetime.

Notice that the subject-verb-object pattern is repeated in each phrase and the same verb is used.  This creates a contrasting relationship between the two parts.

Love of one’s friends is a virtue, love of the human species a necessity.

Humankind must put an end to war, or war will put an end to humankind.

The sentences use parallelism as balance to convey compare and contrast relationships.  Also, the parallel structure of the phrasing makes for an interesting sentence structure.

Quick Review

• Balance phrases of a sentence with the same subject-verb-object.
• Use the same verb.

Practice

Using balance for emphasis, come up with your own aphorism (or saying).  It could be about love, being true to one’s self, or friendship. Give it a try!  Did you use balance to convey emphasis?  If you used the same subject-verb-object on both sides of your sentence, then give yourself a pat on the back!

Make a Series of Phrases

An important means of creating equal emphasis among a group of items is to place them in a series.  

Declining benefits, obsolete equipment, and hostility from management have caused the workers to be angry.

This states that x, y, and z  are equal factors, each contributing to the effect.  This type of sentence can easily replace several sentences that meander in a draft for your AP® English essay.  

Marlow was prepared to risk everything – his boat, his career, even his life.

Notice that the position of the words at the end creates emphasis.  The series of words builds to the finality of “his life”.

A moment’s hesitation, distraction, agitation could spell doom for the soldier.

In this asyndeton structure, coordinating conjunctions are omitted to give an urgency to the tone of the passage and the series of words supports the tension.

You could also omit commas and use only coordinating conjunctions to provide an overwhelmed feeling to the reader (i.e., a polysyndeton):

No sooner does one political crisis fade from the headlines than a new one arrives, a scandal or war or riot or massacre.  

Quick Review

• Write words in a series to create equal emphasis.
• Omit conjunctions for a sense of urgency.
• Omit commas to create an overwhelmed feeling.
• Use this strategy for emphasis only.

Practice

For each of the following items, compose a sentence that places the three items in a series.  Be sure your sentence structure is similar to the examples above.

A. courage       patience     generosity  

B. our city    our country    our planet

C. terrors      worries     fears

Emphatic Interruption

To give emphasis to a piece of information or statement, attempt turning it into an interruption of the sentence:

The street she lived on ‒  it was more like a path than a street ‒ was so barren that she rarely saw a neighbor.

A man of strong opinions ‒ his last movie made millions, but he called it a flop ‒ he is not exactly a fellow actor’s dream co-worker.

Dashes are normally used to offset the interruption.  In variation of the pattern, you could begin the pattern with a series and follow it by a dash.

Going to prison, losing his daughter, having Pip initially reject him – everything in Magwitch’s life seemed doomed to failure.

This sentence structure takes the reader by surprise by making a false start.  The reader assumes the first part is the start, but the true subject comes after the dash.

You could also use this structure to create an element in apposition to the subject.  Here are some examples:

Marrying the faithful husband, having beautiful children, living in a beautiful home ‒ everything in Nora’s life seemed enchanted and perfect.

Making a fortune, buying expensive luxuries, traveling around the world ‒ none of these things made him happy.

The first set of phrases creates a sense of optimism, but the last phrase implies conflict for the character.  

Quick Review

• Use dashes to set off a phrase you wish to emphasize.
• Use a series then a dash to create apposition.

Practice

Write an emphatic interruption of your own as practice.  Start with something you are familiar with, such as a character from a book or movie. Remember to use dashes to offset what you are emphasizing.  

The Cumulative Sentence

A cumulative sentence is followed by one or more free subordinate elements.  It accumulates or collects modifying words, phrases, or clauses after the core of the sentence is complete.  The beauty of this sentence structure is that it offers refinement without confusing the reader.  Since the basic structure of the sentence is complete before the addition of the end modifiers, the reader has a grasp of your idea, which you can elaborate or reflect on.  Several previous examples work well for this structure:

No sooner does one political crisis fade from the headlines than a new one arrives, a scandal or war or riot or massacre.  

Marlow was prepared to risk everything  ‒  his boat, his career, even his life.

Since human speech often mimics this pattern, a cumulative sentence will add a more pleasant, conversational feel and less of a wooden or formulaic one to your writing.

Here are some more examples:

John Dewey’s intellectual tone disguised his tender nature, a trait rarely revealed in his books and letters.

Prospero was prepared to risk everything for his own sense of justice  ‒ his honor, his future, even his own daughter.

Use an Occasional Rhetorical Question

Usually, an essay is a succession of statements or declarative sentences, but to show some feeling, or to challenge the reader, you can make use of a strategically placed question.  Keep in mind to use questions sparingly and keep your tone impersonal (i.e., do not use it as an indictment of your reader).

What are we to make of the decline of working class conditions in America? We should begin by improving workforce education programs.

How are we to eliminate the existential danger of nuclear war? The best thing we can do is apply international pressure to rogue nations.

Is there a viable solution to attracting American business back to the U.S.? Tax incentives and investment in infrastructure must be a part of any solution.

What are some practical solutions for building better relations with our enemies?

Building relations through joint partnerships and exchange programs are a good start.

As you can see from these examples, the writers supply an immediate response to their own questions, keep an objective tone, and a forthright stance.  The answer does not meander or leave any doubt.  If used properly, a rhetorical question can be very coercive.

Quick Review

• Use a question for coercive effect.
• Supply the answer to your question.
• Use sparingly.

Comprehensive Review

• Avoid choppy sentences.
• Reserve short sentences for emphasis.

• Reverse sentence elements and subject-verb word order.

• Use punctuation to create internal pauses.
• Balance phrases of a sentence with the same subject-verb-object.
• Write words in a series to create equal emphasis.
• Omit conjunctions for a sense of urgency.
• Omit commas to create an overwhelmed feeling.
• Use dashes to set off a phrase you wish to emphasize.
• Use a series then a dash to create apposition.
• Use a question for coercive effect.
• Supply the answer to your question.

Summary

AP® English readers are impressed by your ability to write coercively on a topic.  Good writing should not only demonstrate an in-depth analysis of a particular topic, but also serve as evidence of your command of English. Start practicing these types of sentence structures for all your writing and remember to use these types sparingly.  

Sometimes a simple, short sentence will give an idea enough emphasis, whereas a sentence with an anchor or independent clause and subordinate clauses might make a series of points clearer. Also, the structure of your paragraphs is equally important.  The sentences within an effective paragraph support and extend an idea, just as paragraphs themselves work together to make your thesis persuasive.  

Recommended Reading

For some extended reading on improving your writing, check out the following books:

Sin and Syntax: How to Craft Wicked Good Prose , by Constance Halle.  

Writing Well, by Donald Hall and Sven Birkerts (Longman Classics, 9th Edition).